Being a parent and getting your kids ready for bedtime can be a challenge. However, not having enough sleep can affect how well they deal with their emotions and day ahead. Lack of sleep can also lead to behaviour problems, trouble paying attention as well as problems with learning. Being intentional with your habits during this time could take some stress away and even make it a more enjoyable time of the day. Creating a simple schedule that’s easy to maintain and fits in with your family, will assure the whole family wakes up well-rested and refreshed.
What does a good night sleep consist of?
It consists of children falling asleep within 20 minutes, waking briefly at night but falling back asleep on their own and waking up in the morning by themselves. How long it takes for a child to fall asleep can depend on:
- If they are sleepy or not
- How much physical activity they’ve had before bed
- Their bedtime routine
- How safe and comfortable they feel
- If there are any distracting noises or lights
- When and what they’ve eaten or drank just before bedtime
- If there’s something on their mind
Tips to consider
Give them your full attention
With our busy lifestyles, multitasking is what we’re wired to do. However, put everything else on hold. This is the one time your child needs to have your full attention. Kids can sense when something else is the priority and can push back to get any kind of attention from you, even if it’s negative attention. Put the phone away, give them that eye contact, and share the love. They will acknowledge the attention and be much more receptive to what you’re asking.
Create a positive feedback loop
Bedtime is the time to wind down the night and settle into bed. It’s the last moments we share with the family and it creates the energy that a child keeps with them which could impact how they wake up and start their new day. This is also an opportunity to allow them to open up about what’s on their minds or weighing heavy on their hearts. Ask them to share their stories or feelings. Talk about the positive things in their lives and reinforce the love you have for them. Even if you’ve just reprimanded them, remind them to not carry that negativity with them, but to rather learn from it. This will help them be more cooperative in the morning.
Work on your family routine
Having regular activities will teach the child what’s important in your household. Having supper together and talking about the day everyone had, is a small habit to create consistency in a family routine. Children fear the unknown and having things they can rely on provides that security and sense of normalcy. Getting the older kids and other adults involved can also strengthen the bond and create a team environment. You can get them involved by everyone doing their homework or having bath time around the same time. Giving your kids purpose like chores or helping tidy up before bedtime will grow their confidence and independence. These healthy and constructive habits will lead to better time management, self-discipline and being more emotionally and socially advanced. It will also provide opportunities for kids to get excited for the evening ahead. Find out more about why daily routines are important here.
Deal with distractions
Kids need to know that it’s ok to sometimes break routine. It’s ok to watch a movie with the parents instead of going to bed, having a healthy snack before bedtime or watching the stars outside. These moments of spontaneity can show the child that sometimes unexpected things are ok. It might help them cope better when there are unforeseen bumps that change their routine. You also need to observe any signs of sleep struggles like snoring or trouble breathing. This will also create problems in the daytime, like your child being overly tired or sleepy. When you notice a big enough change in your child’s sleep or lack of sleep, you will then need to contact a doctor. There are many other things you can check for before tucking them in:
- Make sure the TV can’t be heard and the lights are suitably turned down
- Do they have their favourite teddy or security object
- Are they dressed warm or cool enough and is the room temperature moderate
Balance choices vs control
Kids often ask for a bedtime snack, a juice or “one more thing” do your best to listen and make them feel part of the bedtime ritual. However, make sure they know that once they’re in bed and tucked in they have to stay in bed. If they get up, calmly hold their hand and take them back. Try not to shout or create a space for arguing. Don’t give them the extra attention that prolongs bedtime. Younger kids will test your boundaries to try to gain control and feel confident, don’t lose control. Give them some responsibility and choices like picking their bedtime clothes or a story they’d like to hear. It’s a balancing act of listening and making them part of the routine but also not allowing them to take the lead.
Don’t set expectations for you or your child to follow the schedule every single day, unexpected things will happen. It will take a few weeks for the positive habits to kick in. In time they will feel comfortable enough with your schedule. When this happens your child will follow these healthy habits and bedtime will become easier and happier.
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Acknowledgements
https://www.reuters.com/article/us-kids-family-routine-idUSBREA2B1TM20140312
